My Mother, Andi Mambolong, is [not was] the greatest mother that I could ever known in my life. She passed away on 03.30 [wita],
June 25th, 2006 in Sengkang, South Sulawesi, Indonesia. She left four children [I am as the youngest] and 12 grand children [Odi, my son, is the youngest]. She is meeting her husband now, Andi Panennungi, who left her around 32 years in the ‘dunia setelah kematian’.
I was called by my family [my big brother] to come home on June 22nd when I was in Bandung for my project. I was told that my mother was sick, but they did not tell me that She was in a serious condition. When I arrived on June 23rd, I saw my mother in a comma situation. I saw the monitor; her health indicator was getting worse: heart rate was too high around 250, oxygen absorption was low around 80 and below, her blood pressure was low around 100/20 and below, but her temperature still 35-37 Celsius degree. My first reaction was I could not accept the situation that my beloved mother will leave me. However, my family reminded me to surrender to God. Fortunately, I have two doctors in my big family who could convince me wisely about the condition of my mother that probably it is “her way” because her lever is already in a very bad condition. Then I tried to accept the God decision on my mother. On June 25th, around 3 a.m, her blood pressure dropped into 64/15, oxygen absorption into 0-50, temperature 33 Celsius degree, but heart rate still 250 constantly. Since that condition, I did not see the monitor anymore. We just try to let her go, surrender to God, by reciting “Yasin”. On 03.30 a.m, She left us in peace forever with a big smile in her face.
One of the best way that I could remember my mother was She never pessimist. She told her children that you should never think what ever your condition today, but you should think how to move forward on what ever you could think could be better. About properties or wealth, She said that you should have a constant behave about wealth/properties: you should have the same behavior whether you have or you don’t because it is just a temporary condition. Never treat people differently because of their properties/wealth, threat them as best as you could do. She reminded us by example, She said look “X Family”, they started their business from zero and now they become the business empire and look “Y Family”, they had big business, but now they collapsed. So, properties/wealth is just a temporary condition.
The next way that I could remember my mother is She always proud of her ancestors. She gave me a name, Maddaremmeng, after the name of my great-grand father, “ Petta Fillae La Maddaremmeng”, the Great King Warrior in one of Wajo’s federation member in the past, who won many battles. She showed me the big cemetery of La Maddaremmeng [high around 3 meters with the Buginess Scripts, stated La Maddaremmeng], in Tempe, closed to Danau Tempe, Wajo. That place was one of the business centres in the Wajo Kingdom around 18-19 centuries which served the trade from Danau Tempe-Makassar-Batavia-Singapore-Thailand [please read Christian Pelras, The Bugis, Blackwell Publisher, 1996 for further information]. She also memorized the I La Galigo epoch. She told me the stories when I was a kid. I like the stories especially when Sawerigading facing seven battles in the sea and seven battles in the land. One thing that I could not understand until now is why I was given a name based on my ancient name [Maddaremmeng], while my brother and sisters were given names based on national name [Syamsualam, Sudiati, and Mone]. The only explanation that I got was, my name was given to memorize the greatness of the past of our ancestor [La Maddaremmeng] which become the connectors between my mother and my father’s family based on the ‘buginess script silsilah or sitambu or lontara’.
My mother was a good believer in Islam. She reminded us to have sholat five times a day. Even though She still believes that She was the descendant of the “arung or the line of blood from the blessed king/gods” and still put “Andi” in her name which differentiate from the “common people”, She believe that “men are equal before God and they are just the same but different faces”[Sometimes I criticized her for this contradiction but She just gave me a smile without any explanation] . She said that the time has changed and even though her children have a right to have “Andi” in their name, She will not use it [it is useless and should be stopped]. She preferred to push her children to have education, because our family does not have enough properties to have a business [probably the statistician will put us in the “near poor” family].
The other way that I could remember my mother that She tried to perceive people from the good side. She said each one has a good and bad side. You should give them a chance to show the good side of them. She told us the time when our place was torn by the war between “Gurella/DI TII” and “Tentara/TNI”. Our family also was torn by the war because my mother family was joined the “Gurella/DI TII” and my father family was joined “Tentara/TNI”. My mother and my father just did the best to serve both of them when they came. The good side of that was our family and neighborhoods were protected from the violence of both from the Gurella and Tentara.
My mother treated her children, families, and others equally. She also never talked about the others unpleasant. If some people talked about someone evil, She preferred shut her mouth up. My mother has four children, one lives in Jakarta [me], one lives in Makassar [Syamsualam], and two lives in Sengkang [Sudiati and Mone]. However, she preferred stayed longer in Sengkang, probably because She has two daughters (my sisters) lives there. Probably talking and doing many things to her daughter’s children was convenience for her.
There are many ways to remember my mother, but I just want to add one important thing: her faith about destiny. She said that you should do your best until your destiny is revealed and that is the only way you could do, nothing else. There is no certainty in this life and that what makes our life become the greatest mystery that we could ever have.
Sumbawa, NTB, Hotel Dewi, July 1st, 2006.